IS CHOICE PSYCHOLOGY?
Choice psychology is a term I coined to describe a new way of thinking about relationships and
emotions. It’s based on the groundbreaking work of renowned psychiatrist William Glasser, MD, developer of “choice
theory.” Simply put, choice psychology holds that the quality of our experience is determined by the behavior we choose,
not by external factors.
HOW CAN CHOICE PSYCHOLOGY HELP IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE?
stems from our efforts to control others, or to fend off their attempts to control us. Choice psychology is a positive approach
to human relationships that can help you to:
· deal with others more effectively
· find greater satisfaction
and success in your work
· enjoy a more creative and satisfying life
while overcoming the desire to control
what others think and do.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHOICE PSYCHOLOGY AND TRADITIONAL PSYCHOTHERAPY?
therapies focus on the external reasons for our distress, such as difficult parents or a chemical imbalance. Choice psychology
states that it’s our responsibility to find effective ways to meet our basic needs, especially in the face of difficult
WHAT ARE THESE BASIC NEEDS YOU REFER TO?
Power, love, freedom, safety, and fun. We're always
choosing behavior, making our best attempt to meet one or more of these needs. When our efforts are successful, we’re
happy. When they’re not, we develop symptoms such as anxiety or depression.
WHAT IS YOUR PHILOSOPHY REGARDING
In my view, the best parents are those who are less concerned with shaping their child into the person they
want him to be, and more concerned with creating the conditions for their child’s healthy growth and development.
WHAT IS CHOICE PARENTING?
Choice parenting, unlike the conventional “punishment-reward-timeout” formula,
aims for more than simple compliance. It’s a specific method that encourages children to struggle with their challenges,
enjoy their own successes, and develop a responsible, creative approach to life. Parents who use the choice parenting approach
want their children to learn to make effective life choices. They encourage this process by being very engaged, but non-controlling.
In this way, they build a strong parent-child relationship -- the key to resolving difficult behavior problems.
ARE SOME SPECIFIC PRINCIPLES OF CHOICE PARENTING?
We all want well-behaved children. In the choice parenting model, what
we really want is for children to evaluate their own behavior and to make responsible choices as they encounter challenges
in life. Here is a set of “tools,” or principles, that encourage kids to take responsibility. They’re explained
more fully in my book, Choice Parenting.
· STAY CONNECTED
This is the foundation for every intervention
you make with your child. The best way to stay connected is to try to see the sense in your child’s behavior. Instead
of, “Holy smokes, what a mess! What’s the matter with you?” try, “I can see you’ve been having
a lot of fun in here. How about helping me clean it up?”
· ENCOURAGE SELF-EVALUATION
tell your child what you think about his behavior, ask him what he thinks. For example: “Are you satisfied with the
grade you got on the quiz? What would it take to do better?”
· SET YOUR LIMITS